The Fed, White and Blue

It is the fourth of July, you are in America, and you are English. What do you do?

As an Englishman living stateside for almost a decade, July 4th has come round with both the regularity of a well thought out calendar and an annual requirement for me to answer that question. A lot. Possibly even more than the one about how to pronounce tomato.

Most of my answers to The July Fourth Question are along the lines of:

“I’ll be defending any ship importing tea.” Ho ho.
“I’m hiring myself out to be shot at by anyone with the last name of Jefferson or Adams.” Ha ha.
“What you call Independence Day I call 'Talk Like an Australian Day.'” Chortle.

The truth is that being raised in England I didn’t think twice about July 4th. Or once for that matter. It’s not that the Brits don’t care or bear a grudge (we don’t), it’s just that while it’s a major part of US history, it’s not as prominent in that of the UK. Lots of colonies managed to escape being governed from England, and school curriculums there tend to be about the big picture: Tudor Kings and Queens, the Industrial Revolution, or the role of the Spice Girls in the beginnings of corporate created pop stars.

Since living in the US though, I’m all for it. Few and far between are the American’s that don’t make me welcome around Independence celebrations. (Though I’m not brave enough to wear my Union Jack T-shirt and run down the street demanding taxation without representation and the abolition of trial by jury).

Is it a Federal offence not to invite Brits to some kind of celebration? I always have several options to choose from; most involving obscene amounts of meat in buns, parades, and fireworks as far as the ear can hear. For that reason alone I embrace wholeheartedly American Independence and defend its inalienable right to ribs, burgers, and the pursuit of steak sauce.

So whatever quip I may answer with this Independence Day the truth is I shall be doing the same as always—gluttoning myself on the abundance of food and fun forced on me by liberated Americans.


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